A Taste Of Spring Cleaning

Mom and I were on our own all week while Dad attended a conference in Las Vegas. While Mom turned her back for a second to put dinner (Chicken Capers & Couscous Bake- my favorite!) in the oven, I found the bottle of Pine Sol she mistakenly left on the edge of the bathtub after she had washed the floors that afternoon. Mom found me in the hallway between the bathroom and kitchen with a soaked face and shirt and a surprised look on my face. As soon as she picked me up, my pine fresh smell gave it away and she instantly knew what I had done! PANIC TIME... Mom called Sigonella's emergency number and said, "MY SON DRANK PINE SOL!" The dispatcher asked if we wanted an ambulance to come to our house, but my Mom said she could drive to the hospital faster than explaining where we live out in town, so off we ran to the hospital. When we arrived at the emergency room, they were ready for us... "Ahhh, is this the little Pine Sol drinker?" The emergency team had already investigated Pine Sol ingestion while we were in route to the hospital and they were able to reassure my panicky-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown-mother that Pine Sol is one of the better household cleaners to consume, if you're in the business of consuming cleaning products that is! It's a lot better than let's say... bleach or ammonia! If my Mom had called Poison Control first (like she should have!) she would have been instructed to make me drink water and then see a physician. But Mom was scared and wasn't thinking clearly so we headed straight to the ER. As a matter of fact, we left the house in such a hurry that Mom forgot to bring the bottle of Pine Sol (the ER staff scolded her for that!... "If you had brought the bottle, we could better determine how much he actually consumed!") and a diaper bag (the hospital only had newborn diapers so I left the hospital in a diaper that looked like a G-string on me!). Thankfully, Mom did remember to turn off the oven before leaving the house so we had a home to come home to at the end of the eventful evening. After a urinalysis, a chest x-ray, a shower and three hours of observation, we were discharged from the ER. I was completely fine. My mom on the other hand, a guilt ridden wreck... "How could I have forgotten to put the Pine Sol away?... Why was the bathroom door even open to begin with?... I should have had him in the kitchen with me with the door closed!... I really screwed up!" It's been a week since the incident and Mom still doesn't think the jokes are funny... "Pine Sol removes tough grease and grime and leaves your baby smelling clean." "Currier's going to have super powers now- everything he touches will instantly become clean!" "Did you wash the floors today or did Currier burp?"... Okay, maybe a little funny!